the intolerant

Over the weekend, I went to NYC.

I had a great time and could even elucidate about it here (Definitely go see “Away we Go”… You forget it’s Jim from The Office after like 5 minutes!).

However, I want to talk about something indirectly related to the trip…

If When I become important enough to control things, I’m going to issue an edict that children under three are banned from plane, train, and bus rides that last longer than three hours.

Look, I don’t hate children (well, maybe a little) and I don’t hate people who have kids (Better you than me), I just hate the combination on long transit endeavors.

It’s unfair to ask the child to behave that long (it’s actually kinda crazy to ask an adult to not repeatedly do something that won’t annoy a roomful of strangers over that time… hi, Mr. sniffle nose guy), it’s unfair that all of us non-childers have to pay for the right to put up with your offsprings whiny tantrums like they’re Perez Hilton.

Not saying that what Will.i.am did was right.  Just saying I understand.

If you’re a parent and you do it under the guise of “they’re going to be sleep the whole time” or “If they get fussy, I’ll just take them to the bathroom”.

No. [Littlest Brother edit] you!!  A child can’t sleep when the sensation of their ears popping is completely new and scary!  Fussy to you isn’t fussy to me… You’re use to ignoring cries and yelps.  I’m not and I want to keep it that way.

The solution. I think we should familial segregated flights. Not all  (I realize that adult family members might want to stay with their siblings and nephew/nieces), but I feel like every transportation service should offer “Family-Protected” trips. I’d be willing to pay up to 50% more for a ticket with the guarantee that everyone on board was over 18… That’s 90% of the reason you’ll never find me on a Carnival Cruise (the other 10% has to do with their substandard omelets… just not a fan).

Some may read this and say that I’m being selfish and, to that, I say “[Littlest Brother edit] you!  These parents are being selfish!” When you decide to have a kid you decide to sacrifice a lot. Drinking for 9 months. Nights out on the town. Buying a car with less than 4 doors… Its high time parents realized that travel is another of the luxuries they’ll have to learn to live without.